12.52am, the wee hours of Christmas, year 2008.
Before this time, if I was asked, "If you could turn back time, what would you change?", sturdily, I'd tell you, I will keep everything as it has happened and I have no regrets.
Today, that changed. Today, I learnt my lesson.
In the previous night, I fought over a dilemma. Should I spend my time on this, or that? Dreaded with guilt, I chose the latter. It doesn't matter what it was, now. What has happened, has happened. But, it'll be a mistake I'll never repeat.
Let's take it from the top. I enjoy togetherness with the people I cherish, I have no doubt about that. I am thankful for every moment I am able to spend time with these loving individuals. Oh, in case you are wondering, I meant my family and friends.
Today, right now, I feel as if my regression comes haunting me. Big deal, you'd say. Everyone has regrets. Like I don't already know. Anyway, what is the big deal?
Today, I saw a sea of beings moping along the streets. It finally hit me. What was I thinking? I was walking among them moments ago. What am I? Stupid? I must be. They, like myself moments ago, were all victims of group-think; a term which caused the infamous holocaust of Jews during Hitler's reign; also is every reason which created ridiculous scenarios of men killing men. Am I that weak to bend my principles just to conform to the crowd? Confirmed. I was stupid. Note the past tense.
Right now, I do not care if you think I'm not cool. I do not give a damn if I don't fit in. I could care less if you think I'm boring or ugly, whatsoever. Most of all, what you think of me does NOT matter anymore. Why would I want to be one of you if that means losing myself, defying the people I love just to learn about regression and pain. Is being "part of the crowd" so important or fun? Today, I learnt my lesson. I am afraid not. It was so far from fun. I was an idiot. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to my sisters; to my friends, but most of all, I owe myself a big apology for going against my own will. I deserved better.
Even so, it was a lesson to learn when this matter is concerned; my first, and definitely, my last. I rest my case.
Before this time, if I was asked, "If you could turn back time, what would you change?", sturdily, I'd tell you, I will keep everything as it has happened and I have no regrets.
Today, that changed. Today, I learnt my lesson.
In the previous night, I fought over a dilemma. Should I spend my time on this, or that? Dreaded with guilt, I chose the latter. It doesn't matter what it was, now. What has happened, has happened. But, it'll be a mistake I'll never repeat.
Let's take it from the top. I enjoy togetherness with the people I cherish, I have no doubt about that. I am thankful for every moment I am able to spend time with these loving individuals. Oh, in case you are wondering, I meant my family and friends.
Today, right now, I feel as if my regression comes haunting me. Big deal, you'd say. Everyone has regrets. Like I don't already know. Anyway, what is the big deal?
Today, I saw a sea of beings moping along the streets. It finally hit me. What was I thinking? I was walking among them moments ago. What am I? Stupid? I must be. They, like myself moments ago, were all victims of group-think; a term which caused the infamous holocaust of Jews during Hitler's reign; also is every reason which created ridiculous scenarios of men killing men. Am I that weak to bend my principles just to conform to the crowd? Confirmed. I was stupid. Note the past tense.
Right now, I do not care if you think I'm not cool. I do not give a damn if I don't fit in. I could care less if you think I'm boring or ugly, whatsoever. Most of all, what you think of me does NOT matter anymore. Why would I want to be one of you if that means losing myself, defying the people I love just to learn about regression and pain. Is being "part of the crowd" so important or fun? Today, I learnt my lesson. I am afraid not. It was so far from fun. I was an idiot. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to my sisters; to my friends, but most of all, I owe myself a big apology for going against my own will. I deserved better.
Even so, it was a lesson to learn when this matter is concerned; my first, and definitely, my last. I rest my case.
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